Thursday, September 02, 2004

Comment Turns to Post (But I need to go to bed soon...)

(To a recently divorced young woman, looking for true love)

Hey, HOI,

My blog is named Serial Blogonomy (monogamy) for a reason. I've been with a lot of guys for 2-3-4 years at a time, but haven't given in to the old marriage yet. Here's three things I've learned:

1) When you give your number and mean it, make sure part of the meaning is physical chemistry. Seriously.

2) Make sure you're not so terribly different that you can't work through it.

3) Make sure the guy loves you (of course, you know that if you're looking at MARRIAGE) but not for the future you, rather for the current you. No matter how crazy & difficult you may be. (I say this because I am both crazy and difficult. So is my current [hopefully future always] man.)


There IS a reason this blog is called Serial Blogonomy - mostly because I consider myself a serial monogamist. Lots of years-long loves. Lots of years-long unrequited loves. Forget it. I don't think I've been single in my adult (post 18-22; I'm on the razor's edge of thirty right now) life.

I'm extremely happy with my man & my family. That may have something to do with the man actually being part of the family - Kiernan's dad - I don't know. But, for the record, I had the crazy-chemistry-Darwinian hots for this man years before Kiernan came in to the picture. Hell, even months before I met him in person (I'll tell that some other time.) I think part of my decision to bear and to raise Kiernan had to do with chemical inevitability (I don't believe in God, and chemicals seem like a good alternative in this case. Damn complimentary DNA/ hormones.)

But, beyond that, I've seen good in several men who were, in fact, quite bad for me. When I broke it to them, they got all fucked up and needy. No fun at all.

Those that didn't get all fucked up were the ones that didn't see fit to be with me in a "girlfriend/boyfriend" type scenario.

My best friend Chris Fox, for one (beautiful, beautiful black Irish man. Damn. He used to babysit Kiernan for me when I had a big jones to get out and see the world. Good guy. He's in Montana in a ranch with his (several years long) girlfriend LaResa, last I heard.)

My high school crush / winter prom date, Greg Wollaston (who I shared with All things Jen - the crush, that is, not the date -) who recently (two years ago) had his gay wedding announcement in the times. What a sweetheart - his husband, included. Hell, they say a girl likes a man who reminds her of her daddy, eh?

Oh, and Ursus. I was a 19 year old college girl. He was a 20 year old college boy. It was love at first sight, except for his future - and later, ex- wife. She was awfully cool, by the way. Too bad the timing was never, ever quite right.

In lieu of that, he & I became lifelong friends. And we're going to have a few drinks (Courtesy of his Vegas winnings) tomorrow night. Yay! More to come later on.


At 3:37 PM, Blogger Jen(nifer) said...

Greggers...oh the drama back in the day, Silly, silly us. (Or me, you told me you wanted his skinny nerdy, but oh so charming bones) And I naturally followed in your footsteps...

; )

And then there was Mr. Shinn, the mayor...
Forget about that blond curly haired diversion?

I wonder what ever happened to him?


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