Monday, September 13, 2004

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Yes, folks, it's that time of year again. That's right. The first day of school. The day that my little munchkin becomes a part time ward of the state, and I get to have a life again -- for free, even.

I'm pleased by this. I'm also pleased by the fact that my dog walking service is starting to bring in some decent money, and by the fact that Tim just took a week of vacation and cleaned and reorganized lots of heinous corners of our apartment, and by the gradual shift in climate from "not that hot but stickier than Paris Hilton after a night at Bungalow 8" to "nice crispy snappy autumn sleeping weather". These developments are good.

The thing is, I'm not really excited about any of this. I'm not enthusiastic about much, truth be told. I'm irritable and cry at any perceived slight. In fact, my eyes are puffy from my last jag. I don't feel worthwhile or loved, to the point where I yell at those poor souls who try to tell me otherwise. I'm healthy and strong and beautiful, but I feel like doody.

I'm depressed.

I don't think medication would help - I think it's strictly personal emotional and psychological history, rather than a chemical imbalance - and it's really fucking with me and my family. This needs to end.



At 9:22 PM, Blogger Gladys Cortez said...

::::hug:::: (That helps, sometimes.)

And remember one of the most important things: You do NOT have a flat ass--and that's SOMETHING, isn't it?

(Hey, I'm doin' what I can.)

At 10:01 PM, Blogger Me said...

I am really sorry to hear that you are down right now. I wish I had words to make you feel better.

At 10:25 PM, Blogger Jennifer Michelle said...

I miss that Staples commercial, with the two unhappy children and the Father gliding by on the cart. :D

I'm sorry to hear you're depressed. Even though I'm a stranger, I'd proud of you for not simply leaning on medication for depression. It really does change who you are, and too many doctors today are too eager to jump to that as a solution. I'm not saying there isn't times for it, but not the way today's society uses it.

There are alternative ways of dealing - such as if you can afford the time for a vacation to get away from whatever's causing you stress - or (one that works for me) finding music that resonates with your feelings and making a play list to listen to that will help expend the negative feelings and lead you to more positive ones. Most recently Soft Rock does it for me, but six months ago it was harder stuff and this one Weird Al song that's actually really wrong when you listen to the words but was just what I needed at the time. (It's called "Christmas At Ground Zero".)

At 11:49 PM, Blogger Jen(nifer) said...

So I guess good friends don't only get their periods at the same time...the down swing happens too.

Anything I can do?

At 1:34 PM, Blogger Robert said...

It's the election campaign. It's enough to make anyone want to open a vein. Hang in there.

At 4:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Being depressed once in a while happens. If it happens often, though, then that's the time to seek help. We all get to feeling like doody once in a while, it's just our nature. I'm too fat, skinny, tall, short, smart, dumb, virginal, slutty, can't commit, commit too often and on and on. Anyone who tells you that they don't feel depressed from time to time is either a liar or on great meds. :)

If it continues, you need to go see someone. I speak from experience on this one. Sometimes just talking to an impartail third party is enough to help. Sometimes you need meds, but to me, that's a last resort.

The hardest part is realizing you're depressed. The next hardest is getting help. The good news? You've already gone through the hard part.

Howard (3leggeddog)


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