Sunday, October 10, 2004

Jackass (and a degree of blogination to boot)

Have I mentioned lately that I think Ursus is awesome? A jackass, sure, but awesome nonetheless.

We had a request for the Mary-Kate Olsen dish. Ask and ye shall receive.

It involves two sightings, actually, neither by me. One was by Ursus (see above for Ursus' awesomeness / jackass content.) Ursus' work brings him into the circles of the rich and famous and weird much more often than most normal people. The Olsens were included in that circle of rich weirdness on at least one occasion. But that's not the story I was talking about!

The real Olsen sighting that I had in mind was reported by one Tim, boyfriend (or "looovahhh", whichever you like - see Erin Go Blog - ) of the house.

Mary Kate wandered her waifish little ass into Tim's store, apparently seeking some fuel of the caffeinated variety. Only, he says she was the same size as Kiernan. Since Kiernan is an exceptionally scrawny and disproportionately tall eight year old boy, I found this disturbing. Intrepid reporter Tim also claims that she looked terrible, all wrinkly clothes and uncombed hair, generally unwashed and apparently just out of bed. Don't the Olsens have someone to go out and get them their coffee while they shower? Maybe she was just disoriented, going solo and all. It's hard to stand up straight when you only weigh 60 pounds and don't have your sister to prop you up.

I wish I were rich and famous enough that people would notice when I look terrible, instead of just thinking I'm a homeless crazy person. That might be a refreshing twist.

Oh, and speaking of sightings that I actually saw... I saw that indie actor guy (uh, would a little research on my part be helpful? Probably. Keep wishin'.) on the corner of Lexington and 77th st., outside the subway stop. I don't know this guy's name, and his roles are dubious at best, so you probably wouldn't know it, either. But, he played Simon in the movie "Henry Fool" with Parker Posey (that was so helpful, no? Oh. I'm sorry.) He also played the foot fetish pimp in the Sex and the City episode where Charlotte gets free Manolo Blahniks for allowing him to touch her feet. Yes, he's a creepy, weird looking little guy. But much less so on a street corner in a nice suit in real life.

Update: Yes, I felt guilty and actually looked up this guy's name. James Urbaniak was my celebrty sighting of the week. He played Robert Crumb in "American Splendor" (which was actaully a cool little film - I enjoyed it, anyway) and also appeared in "Confessions of A Dangerous Mind" and "Legally Blonde 2". Also, like all good New York City actors, he's portrayed the bad guy in episodes of both "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" and "Law & Order: Criminal Intent". Thank me with cash.


At 10:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for acknowledging that I'm not actually creepy or weird-looking in real life. And "little?" I'm 5'10"!

-Urbaniak, ego-surfing

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