Thursday, April 28, 2005

I know that I've grown more and more conservative over time, but this is big.

George W. Bush talked in public and hasn't pissed me off once



(Yet.)

Shhhhhh. It's a secret.

P.S. More on children's day later. All went off without a hitch. Kiernan looks forward to a future career as an NYPD sketch artist.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Take Your Little Monster Adorable Child To Work Day

Tomorrow is the famous day of the children and the working place. In my eagerness to appear enthusiastic and score brownie points in my new work digs, I have inadvertently gotten roped into chaperoning an activity for 36


(AAAAAHHHHH! YES, THIRTY SIX!!!!)


nine and ten year olds, one of whom is my "thinks-he's-my-freakin'-peer-only-child-syndrome-poster-child" little angel. I've also managed to involve Tim in the donations of the pastry and caffeine variety. Those brownie points better be a comin', yo.

But seriously. I finangled (is that a word?) three of my boys to pose as perps for the "activity" portion (as opposed to the sugar induced gyrations portion) of the event, mostly by convincing them that the hot chicks from the 4th floor looooove kids and would be there all day. This is the general idea: The kiddies get together, get told about a crime that just went down in a park on the west side (about a three block walk away) get shown the mugshots, and get told they have to go surveil the suspects. We all parade through Tribeca toward the park. Chaos ensues, children are lost, I get personally sued. The end.

No, no! Just kidding about that part! Seriously. We get to the park, where the boys are undercover, and the children assault them. Fun had by all. Playground time. The end. Hmmmm. Perhaps we should have planned this better?

No, really. It'll be fun. The big upside is that we're allowed to wear jeans (yay! Jeans!). The downside is that I ran out to buy a new pair over the weekend, which fit perfectly well at the time, but now have that suspicious tight rolly thing where my waist is supposed to be. Boooooo.

The additional upside is that my boss won't be in. He claims his court order won't allow him to be around children. I haven't decided yet whether I believe him or not.

No, no! Just kidding! No, really. I'm not sure. Shit. Don't people get fired for blogging?

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Venus in an Airbrushed Mani

Kiernan couldn't sleep last night. It's spring break, so it didn't really matter. Except for the constant

"I can't wait! I can't wait! Nidia's coming over!"

Nothing drains parental self esteem like a fully loaded, brunette mane-ed, big brown eyed hunk-a-twenty one year old latina babysitter. Especially when she'll sit down and make lego inventions with your kid and play Grand Turismo III better than you could have ever, ever dreamed. Kiernan actually cried after her first session, wailing

"But I'll never SEE YOU AGAIN!"

Guess it's safe to chalk him up as heterosexual. Hell, the guys at work are jealous.



Oh, and thank you all for your warm welcome back. The structure of having something to do while your baby and your baby daddy become absorbed with the Ramones documentary on PBS and shoo you away every time you dare to utter some silly thing or another is immeasurable. It's good to be back.

Also, this blog shouldn't have "More Pedro!" anymore, cause my boy had an off night. Stupid Smoltz. Stupid Wright/Piazza/Floyd-pop-fly-last-out giving me hope in the bottom of the ninth. Grrr.

Boooo.

(Just kidding. Let's Go, Mets!)

Monday, April 25, 2005

She's Baaaa-aaack...

Tentatively, that is.

On a rare weekday off (due to Kiernan's ridiculous number of vacation days - hey, city of New York, how's about giving us parents a few days off, too?) I have found myself meandering back in to blog mode for the first time, in, oh, three months (?!).

Therefore, I am prepared to becme addicted once more to that insidious, horrible thing they call THE BLOG (isn't that like the star trek thing? No? It's borg? Okay, while I'm still a dork, I'm not THAT huge of a dork.)

In my first radical departure from my former bloggy life, I have reduced my blogroll to things that I actually read. Why did you think I kept the page up for so long? I'm too lazy to bookmark these things myself, you know.