Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Take Your Little Monster Adorable Child To Work Day

Tomorrow is the famous day of the children and the working place. In my eagerness to appear enthusiastic and score brownie points in my new work digs, I have inadvertently gotten roped into chaperoning an activity for 36


nine and ten year olds, one of whom is my "thinks-he's-my-freakin'-peer-only-child-syndrome-poster-child" little angel. I've also managed to involve Tim in the donations of the pastry and caffeine variety. Those brownie points better be a comin', yo.

But seriously. I finangled (is that a word?) three of my boys to pose as perps for the "activity" portion (as opposed to the sugar induced gyrations portion) of the event, mostly by convincing them that the hot chicks from the 4th floor looooove kids and would be there all day. This is the general idea: The kiddies get together, get told about a crime that just went down in a park on the west side (about a three block walk away) get shown the mugshots, and get told they have to go surveil the suspects. We all parade through Tribeca toward the park. Chaos ensues, children are lost, I get personally sued. The end.

No, no! Just kidding about that part! Seriously. We get to the park, where the boys are undercover, and the children assault them. Fun had by all. Playground time. The end. Hmmmm. Perhaps we should have planned this better?

No, really. It'll be fun. The big upside is that we're allowed to wear jeans (yay! Jeans!). The downside is that I ran out to buy a new pair over the weekend, which fit perfectly well at the time, but now have that suspicious tight rolly thing where my waist is supposed to be. Boooooo.

The additional upside is that my boss won't be in. He claims his court order won't allow him to be around children. I haven't decided yet whether I believe him or not.

No, no! Just kidding! No, really. I'm not sure. Shit. Don't people get fired for blogging?


At 3:57 PM, Blogger Ontario Emperor said...

Our building's Take Your Child to Work Day was cancelled less than one week before its scheduled date - I suspect because they only got 15 kids to sign up. My daughter, one of those kids, was very disappointed.

At 3:14 PM, Blogger Porkchop said...

GAWD! Thank the good lord the people I work with haven't found out about this yet. Otherwise, I, as the only single person in my office, would get stuck BABYSITTING THEM ALL.

I just know it.

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